SwampLog 3.0

Best. Tutorial. Ever.

While DAMradio has been a fun diversion for Marty and I, we haven't gotten into the video podcasting boat yet. We don't have a good FireWire camera to use, and most of our videos would have to be coming from No Frills Grill or somewhere else that has a good locale other than The Swamp. (This would mean we would have to clean. Screw that.) However, when / if we do decide to start up a video podcast, we now know how... thanks to the unmitigated greatness of the French Maids (link mildly NSFW). If all tutorials were this entertaining, I would have learned a lot more by now.

Who's Got The Deep Ellum Blues?

Originally posted at my new digs at Metroblogging: Dallas. Gravitas.

I swear to Bog, I'm not going to whine. I'm not.

Okay, maybe a little.

There was a ten-year period where the North Texas area had some of the most phenomenal live music options. You had an influx of phenomenal rock and funk bands from Denton, a plethora of potent acts in Dallas spanning the musical spectrum, and Fort Worth was brimming with scads of hard rock and soul outfits. On any given weekend night, you could go to Deep Ellum and see an amazing live club gig from a band that you just knew was going to be the Next Big Thing.

Of course, that was before the Great Gentrification of Ellum.

I'd like to think it was a gradual sloping off of the coolness factor, but the truth is the climate of the district changed a lot in the mid-1990s. Bring me your tired cliches of crime, gangs and hooliganism, your yearning to return to a simpler time. You know the story -- the Dallas Observer has chronicled the Decline of Deep Ellum for the last 20 years. Hell, I remember a cover story in the Observer as far back as 1991, claiming the current residents were fearful that the higher dollar developers were invading Ellum and stealing its soul.

I didn't believe it then. I sure as hell believe it now.

Last month, I did a Saturday fill-in DJ gig at The Bone. It was the week before Christmas, and a fairly dead night. I was floored to find out that we had the second-highest amount of people on Elm Street, and I was certain I was tanking. When I asked who had more people, I expected to hear it would be Trees or Dada. Instead, it was Lazers.

Now, Trees is gone. When you don't pay your rent for two months straight, you can expect to get your doors locked. But what really stuns me is the lack of hue and cry from people who love, live for local music. Where was the "Save The Trees" fund-raising concert? Where was the groundswell support movement that would have kept Trees open and functioning?

From all accounts, nowhere. The owners, Entertainment Collaborative, kept holding out hope that a white knight would swoop in and buy Trees at the 11th hour, and that never happend. The space's landlord, the Belmor Corporation, is actively looking for new tenants -- so, if you're thinking about opening up a live music venue with a bit of capital to burn, get moving.

Dada's gone, too. Didn't pay taxes. Not to go all L33T here, but WTF?

Sure, it's depressing to think about it. Wail and moan all you want. But, once you're done with that, ask yourself a couple of questions.

* What are you going to do about it? The concept of taking ownership of something as big as a live music district is a bit daunting, but a handful of people did just that in the late 1980s. Jeff Liles, Russel Hobbs, Charlie Gilder, and Jeff Swaney did it. Where are the people who will -- or can -- step up now?

* If they build it, will you come? Have your nightlife instincts changed so much (as, I fear, mine have) that the thought of heading to Deep Ellum gives you a headache? The shrinking parking options, the crackdown on cruising that makes navigating the district a nightmare, the bonehead goombahs out looking for a meaningless fight...

I want to believe that the answer to one of Dallas' music scene problems is forthcoming. The question is, is it too little, too late?

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

A few new ventures for Your Humble Correspondent, as we barrel towards 2006:

* I'm doing some occasional writing for a new baseball blog collective, called It's A Talkin' Sport. Other than my first post, there are a couple of "getting to know you" posts from John Leeming and Joni Hardin, folks I've known and loved for years. The writers getting ready to come on board are an impressive lot, and I'm looking forward to the coming weeks.

* I've gotten an invitation to join Metroblogging: Dallas, and this should be a gas as well. Every time I try to move away from Dallas, I always end up coming back. I hope to talk about some of the reasons why I love North Texas so damned much.

* My book is in the edit phase right now. At this point, I don't know when it will actually be published, since there's heavy work to be done to it. I may have to restructure the narrative at this stage. At any rate, I hope to have it on the street by Devinukah 2006.

Perchance To Sell A Script to Soderbergh

Last night, I dreamt up a storyline for 'Ocean's 13.' It would have been a great script... had I remembered to write it down immediately upon waking up. I can only hope my Muse decides to repeat the idea tonight. Dammit.

We Will Rock You In Da Club

Curtis Jackson? Meet Freddie Mercury.

The Silence Experiment took some of 50 Cent's best tracks, and mashed 'em up good with Queen's finest. The result is Q-Unit, a scarily good mash-up project.

The scariest thing of all, though, is giving Fitty a Freddie moustache.

Playing Catch-Up

With no small amount of amusement, I read the notice that Microsoft was getting into the music store business next year to compete with Apple's iTunes Music Store. Their partner, to give them the cred they needed to roll? MTV. The same network that has played a total of six music videos in their entirety in the last 12 months.

Here's the sentence, buried in the release about Urge, that really had me howling:

According to MTV Network Spokesperson Jeannie Kedas, Urge will offer a much wider range of music to choose from than can be found on its traditional cable offerings, with a stated goal of helping its users discover new music.

Well, thank Jebus, because no one will ever find out about a new band by watching MTV these days!

The real kicker is that, like every other failing digital music service out there, Urge will use a subscription-based model. Oh, yeah, and there'll be no way to pop the Urge music onto your iPod. Good luck with all that.

Seven Mary Three, One Eight Seven

No, no, no. Please make the Hollywood producers stop! Tack 'CHiPS' to the long-assed list of Seventies / Eighties television shows being made into movies. Wilmer Valderrama will play Ponch. Gack.

I suppose I could ask what depths this remake machine will reach, but I really don't want to know. I suppose I should start shopping my remake idea for the Six Million Dollar Man. Marty and I drafted a treatment back in 1996, and with the climate in Hollywood being what it is, we'd probably make a small mint. We shelved it when there was a production in development in the late Nineties, but I'm willing to bet it's long since expired.

Jukebox Hero

You know, it's not too late to get me a nice little Christmas gift:

Rock 'n Roll Fantasy Camp 2006 February 16 - 20, 2006 President's Weekend - Hollywood, CA

You will perform live on stage with Roger Daltrey of The Who,
the entire band Cheap Trick, Dickey Betts of the Allman Brothers, and Neil Schon of Journey at the famous House of Blues on the Sunset Strip!

Camp counsellors include:
Jack Blades -- Night Ranger - Camp Director
Simon Kirke -- Bad Company (Drums)
Bruce Kulick -- Kiss (Guitar)
Doug Fieger -- The Knack (Guitar)
Elliot Easton -- The Cars (Guitar)
Michael Lardie -- Great White (Keyboards, Guitar)
Vince Melamed -- Jimmy Buffet/Eagles (Keyboards)
Kip Winger -- Winger (Bass)
Gary Burr -- American Idol (Songwriter)
Jeff Pilson -- Dokken (Bass)
Jerry Renino -- The Monkees(Bass
Kelly Keagy -- Night Ranger(Drums)

The price is $8,499 with a $1000 deposit. Mere pittance.

As much as I would love to do one of the baseball fantasy camps, this would just be amazing. I can actually get behind a drum kit and hold my own for one or two songs, and singing with Robin Zander and Roger Daltrey? Please. I would die happily right there.

Pony up, bitches!

Havin' A Party

A note for Texas Rangers fans: the release party for the 2006 Bound Edition of the Newberg Report is this Monday night (December 5) at the Dallas Quadrangle (Uptown) Tin Star restaurant.  If you want to pick up the perfect gift for the Rangers fan who thinks he has everything, and have that copy of the book signed by top Rangers pitching prospect Thomas Diamond, and third base farmhand Johnny Whittleman, this is the place to do it.  You can also hob-nob with Will Carroll, top gun for Baseball Prospectus.

The event starts at 6:00 pm, with Tin Star's full menu available all night.  (I highly recommend the Chicken Club gourmet tacos -- scrumptious!)  Also, with the Winter Meetings going on just a few miles away, you may be the first to know of an earth-shattering deal with the Rangers -- Carroll will keep his phone attached to the side of his head, trust me.

For a complete breakdown of this year's Bound Edition contents, head to the NewbergReport.com book page.

Chapter and Verse

For the 500th post for SwampLog 3.0, here are the chapter titles for my first book, When the Blinking Stops:

First Things First
37 Things I've Learned in 36 Years
What Do I Want?
Growing Up Devin
Transformation
Musique Nonstop
Never Say Goodbye (HIGHLY tentative)
Hold The Line
Superheroes
They Teach Classes, Don't They?
Interlude with Inner Bastard
I Am What I Play
The Three Amigos
Somebody Scream!
The Lesbian Who Loved Me
Finding Your Inner Madonna
Three Hundred Sixty Feet
Radiation Vibe
Interlude with Inner Bastard
Buzz In Now!
Confidence Man
Tug-Of-War
The Period of Abject Stupidity
Thump
Songs To Roast Your Eternal Soul By
Last Call
When The Blinking Stops

The first draft will be done and to editors by 15 December, and I look to have the book available through Amazon.com and direct Web sales by the end of January, unless a publisher picks it up.

500 posts later, I'm still amazed anyone's even reading SwampLog. Both Marty and I thank you for looking in on our charmed little existence, and hope you stick around. The coming months are bringing a lot of changes, both in our lives and with DAM.com.

Mazel tov!