SwampLog 3.0

31 October 2005 Is Up

Presented for the first time anywhere, DAMradio presents the Highly Unofficial Soundtrack to the 1986 classic film, 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off.' Rare tracks from the English Beat, Dream Academy, Sigue Sigue Sputnik and many more. Save Ferris!

Subscribe to the podcast by using this RSS link right chere, get the 27.3 MB enhanced podcast file here by right-clickin' and savin'. The full playlist for this week sits right about 'chere.

It's Not Late, It's Early

These days, I find time to write in the little spaces in between work.  Right now, I'm reimaging a computer riddled with spyware.  A rarity in the corporate networks I usually work in, but it still happens.  So, while the hard drive wipes clean and I reload software, let's get caught up.

Shocking absolutely no one, Rawlings closed up shop last week.  The smokescreen was that they'll be re-opening next year, close to the baseball season.  I'm not buying it for a bit, and neither is anyone else.  No idea what will go in that spot, though I've heard repeatedly that SportService will take over the space and do some specialty spot there, similar to the "Irish Pub" they have in left field on the club level of the Ballpark.  At least I'll once again be able to go there before / after a ball game once more.  I wasn't "banned," per se, but I just couldn't bring myself to walk in there again after everything that happened.

Plans for the wedding are continuing apace.  Better than, actually, since we've got two-thirds of the variables lined up -- photographer, caterer, minister, bridesmaids / groomsmen, and the all-important honeymoon.  The location of the ceremony and reception continues to be an elusive pain in the ass.  We're trying to keep it centrally located for everyone in the North Texas area, but I think it'll end up being the place where we get the most unique locale for the buck.

While I'm fascinated to see the White Sox in the World Series, I refuse to root for them.  Sure, there's the Astros, the first team from Texas to play in the Fall Classic, opposing the Sox, but more to the point... it's the damned White Sox.  The Anti-Cubs.  That "other" Chicago baseball team.  They'll likely clinch tonight, and I'll be quietly impressed with what Ozzie Guillen has done to being Chicago a World Series title again.  But don't expect me to cheer.

Last weekend, the Wild Ass Circus held its wake at the Lizard Lounge.  The attraction was supposed to be Dennis Hof giving away a trip to the Bunny Ranch, but the real draw was getting to see everyone who had helped to guest-host the show one more time.  It was a class reunion in a lot of ways, and the turnout was a lot better than I had hoped.  Richard says the club was worried about the turnout as well, then asked if they could hold another one soon. 

Amanda and I started the dance floor that night, along with my friend Laura and her beau Greg.  It was the first time I had danced in years.  Years, I say!  Now that I'm working out again, I hope it won't be the last.  I hope to be under 200 lbs by the time I dance with Amanda at our reception.

Alopecia

My birthday 2005 marks the day that I officially admit that I have lost my battle with baldness. It pains me to admit that alopecia is bigger than I am, and that my arsenal of Rogaine, Finasteride, and Saw Palmetto is no match for the onslaught of genetics and time.

I suppose I have accept that I must rely solely on my charm to get girls now. Hopefully, I'll grow into that old bald guy sexy like Captain Picard or James Bond. Maybe I'll just take the easy way out and buy myself a Russian bride. Over time, ti's cheaper than getting shot down in bars. No need to worry about genetic damage from hazardous waste or Chernobyl -- I'm probably too old to spawn anyway.

Hairlines are wasted on the young....

=M=

Dope!

One of the primary facets of my job is to go into offices and fix their technology.  Desktop computers make up the bulk of my calls, but I do get the occasional printer call.  And while a major banking chain makes up the majority of our business in North Texas, there's other clients as well, such as a certain company that handles leasing for office buildings, malls and apartment complexes.

This company called my boss in Minnesota yesterday to inform him that neither I nor my partner were allowed to work calls in their office anymore.  This stems from our inability to resolve a longstanding issue with an HP LaserJet 4100 printer, three years past its prime and due for replacement.

But the reason I was singled out in the rebuke?  They claim that I showed up for my last service call high on drugs.

I'll let that sink in for a minute.  In fact, let me say it again.  They claim that I showed up for my last service call high on drugs.

Anyone who has known me for longer than a week knows that I don't dope up.  Period.  The one time I tried to smoke pot was in 1997.  The woman I was dating was whip-smart, yet (at the time) a raging pot fiend.  She had two friends over, and they were planning on getting high.  I decided to stick around and finally give it a try.

The reaction I had was so adverse that I swore to never touch the stuff again, and I haven't.

My employers, from my immediate boss in the area to the corporate bigwigs know my work ethic, and won't give any credence to the allegation.  (At least they say so.)  I've gone on record saying I will submit to any drug test they would like to administer, from urine to hair to skin cells.  I've been assured that not only will it not be necessary, but this won't even be documented in my personnel file.  (Again, at least they say so.)

I was crazy pissed about this for the majority of the day, until I realized that the office I had the most problems with just went away on their own feet.  If they don't want me working their stuff, fine.  Let 'em find someone else to try and hack through their miscommunication and neurosis.  Suits me just fine.  As long as it doesn't affect my standing in the company I work for, I'm fine with it.  If I lose one cent from the claim, I'll sue for defamation of character.  In the meantime, I'll just keep working my ass off, thanks.

Oh, another gem of knowledge I'll drop on you today comes from one of my bank calls today: if you're going to use a small space heater under your desk, putting it next to a computer is a very bad idea.  It tends to melt and warp the computer, making it impossible to open the CD tray, or use the power button.  Your nugget of information for the day.

Absolutely Not A Hog

I really need to start carrying a camera around with me as I make my tech support rounds throughout North Texas.

While grabbing lunch today, a motorcycle pulls up into the space in front of the window I'm sitting in. A bike covered in purple fur, with white accents. PURPLE FUR. I talked to the guy, and he had the bike custom made to his design. While it occurred to me to ask why in the hell anyone would want a furry purple bike, I didn't think it prudent. He did say that highway speeds didn't affect the fur, but made for some great airwave patterns when he got over 60 mph.

Definitely need a camera.

Overheard

M: Damn, I love this rum (a 28-year-old bottle of Ron Tascapa, brought back from Guatemala).
D: It's a very tasty rum.  You should love it.
M: I'd damn well better.  It's older than some of the girls I've dates lately.

It Is The Future You See

While waiting for another trouble ticket to come in, so I can hop in the Sportage (now named Chandler, just because) and go save the day once more, I'm watching a documentary on Ali vs Foreman in Zaire on my Mac. It's being broadcast by some outfit called Independant TV, and I'm picking it up with a Dashboard Widget called Widget Television. There are about 50 digital streaming boradcasts you can choose from, and it's a really cool diversion. Nothing major-market yet -- the closest they get is a Seattle public access station -- but it's damned groovy.

14 Oct 2005 Is Up

Regardless of what the ratings say, we've been renewed for another full season. New music from Chris Classic and Prince, staples by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils and Steve Earle, and a chat with the now-unemployed Big Dick Hunter.

Subscribe to the podcast by using this RSS link right chere, get the 27.3 MB enhanced podcast file here, or grab the plain Jane 26.6 MB MP4 file by right-clickin' and savin'. The full playlist for this week sits right about 'chere.

Programming Note: next week, we do what Paramount Pictures and John Hughes are unwilling to do. We're compiling the Ferris Bueller's Day Off soundtrack. You should e-mail your friends and get them to sign on now... this is going to be a treat.

You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourselves

Kevin Smith gets blasted for a lot of things, but you will never hear a bad word about him coming from my lips. He's what I wish happened to me -- at an early age, I fell in love with filmmaking.

I made a short film when I was in fifth grade with my friends, called "The Case of the Cutlass Blade," shot on Super 8 with the soundtrack done on a cassette tape player. My dad was the cameraman, while I wrote, directed, starred, edited, and did the title and credit sequences for the film. With a little creative editing, it looked like I drove in the film, which made me the envy of every 10-year-old in my class.

I continued to act through my early 20s, but haven't done anything for stage or screen in over a decade. I still harbor pangs of desire to use the editing power of the Macs we have at the Swamp to make a short film from time to time, but the time constraints of a normal life tend to be counteractive to an aspiring filmmaker's schedule.

At any rate, Smith -- remember him? -- is making 'Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks.' He has gotten considerable flak from the fanboy community (read: fuckwits who post on Ain't It Cool News' Talkback forums who wouldn't know a pleasant thought if it bit them in the nutsack) for making a sequel to 'Clerks,' not realizing Smith planned on doing a sequel before moving on to 'Mallrats.'

Since he hasn't shot a whole lot for the film, and wanted to do a teaser for the film's "behind the scenes" site, he used footage from 'Clerks.' This pissed off the unwashed Talkback suckjobs. Smith not only spent a Saturday night answering the goombah nation, but made another teaser for the film.

Think of it as 'The Aristocrats' without the benefit of the joke framework.

Caffeinated and Wide-Eyed

I'm at the Starbucks on Collins and Green Oaks in Arlington. For whatever reason, tonight it's overrun with college students and other assorted folk, and I can't find one open chair.

In one corner, there are four black men holding bible study. They're discussing John 10:9, and the leader of the study is reading passages and sounding phenomenal. It makes me want to not only pay attention, but jump in to the conversation.

These days, I'm eating too much. It's a reaction to not having to meter out what I spend on food due to my income. I started taking vitamins again, and cut out sodas this week, and eventually I need to cut down on the amount of beer I drink. I need to lose the weight / beer belly, plain and simple.

I'm waiting for Richard, so we can go over improvements to his web site. The next week is crucial, as he's getting a lot of inquiries about the Wild Ass Circus. Damn, I hope this works out for him.

More people are showing up, and it's screwing up my plan to shark two good chairs and a workspace. David Cross' illegitimate brother / evil doppleganger keeps walking in and out, never sitting down but refilling his flagon of coffee. He creeps me out.

Something in my brain wants to write a set piece scene in a movie where a disgruntled guy comes in to a coffee house and starts emptying a shotgun into the pretentious patrons, but Terry Gilliam did it better than I ever could muster in 'The Fisher King.' On top of it, the movie would never see the light of day, since everyone would be scared of copy-cats.

This may very well be the best caramel macchiato I've ever had. Period.

Right as I think I'll have to tell Richard we need to find another place in the area with Wi-Fi, the guy next to me leaves, giving up a seat and table next to a power outlet. Synchronicity. Of course, Richard arrives at that moment but he's trapped on the phone.

Two minutes later, the couple leaves the plush Good Chairs across the store. I hop over, only to realize they're not good places to do collaborative work. A sheepish grin plastered on my face, I go back to my original tables with the straight back wooden chairs.

Richard is done with his call and comes inside, and we get right to work. He looks like he hasn't slept in a while, but he swears he's doing fine. While I want him to delve in to how he's taking the whole situation with the Ticket, I know he's wound tightly to get through this spell of unemployment. He'll decompress soon enough, but right now we need to get his show back on the air.