SwampLog 3.0

So Much For The Instinct...

Time it took Edison to lose interest in the mouse and go farting around elsewhere in the house: 27 minutes.

Time it took me to then find the mouse and expel him from the house: 6 minutes.

The Hunting Instinct

As I type this, Edison is rooting around the office, on the second floor of the Swamp, chasing a mouse he brought in from outside. Why in Bog's name this damned cat cannot kill the things he hunts outside is beyond me.

Now, the damned mouse is sequestered behind the filing cabinet, where Edison can't get to it. I know the little bastard is going to get pissed while he's back there and start chewing on power or ethernet cables.

Friday Five: 19 December 2003

1. List your five favorite beverages.
Celis Pale Ale, Starbucks' Caramel Frappucino, Sierra Mist, Bawls guarana soda, Maker's Mark.

2. List your five favorite websites.
As The Apple Turns, Homestar Runner, FARK, Movie Poop Shoot, ESPN's Daily Quickie.

3. List your five favorite snack foods.
Tortilla chips and salsa, Fig Newtons, Pirolines, queso tots, Ritz crackers

4. List your five favorite board and/or card games.
Monopoly, spades, Scrabble, poker, Cranium.

5. List your five favorite computer and/or game system games.
Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee, Star Wars: Rogue Leader, NFL Fever 2004, You Don't Know Jack (any volume), Burning Monkey Solitare.

Spreading the Blame

The NY Times (sub required, natch) reports the final design was rolled out today for the revised "Freedom Tower" design. While the story focuses on the centerpiece of the project, a 1,776-foot spire that will become the tallest structure in the world, the remainder of the development at Ground Zero is visible in the photos as well. I can't tell whether there will be a memorial park, or some other way to remember the 3,000 who died on 11 September 2001. The main tower should be completed by 2009 -- and something tells me that this is one construction project workers won't dally on. The cornerstone will be laid by 11 September 2004.

One good bit of Rangers-related news -- I just got my copy of the 2004 Bound Edition of the Newberg Report. Damn, it's a wonderful book. I still can't believe the thing looks as good as it does, and it reads wonderfully. You should buy a copy. Really.

As every publication has informed you by now, Alex Rodriguez will remain a Ranger for the time being. As much as I would like to blame Tom Hicks for creating this situation -- not with Alex's contract, but all the moves he and John Hart made after he signed him, from Chan Ho Park, to Ken Caminiti, to Jay Powell... the list of bad moves goes on and on -- there is just as much blame that falls on Alex's head as well.

The grumblings in Baltimore last season of wanting to move on to a winning ball club were the first sparks that started this whole thing. Having Scott Boras start nosing around in the press to stir anti-Ranger sentiment (as if that took any extra effort these days). Pointing the trade missile towards the one place he knew it couldn't be ignored -- Boston. Then, when the deal was going to cost Alex anywhere from $28 million to $30 million off the top of his astonishing contract, he hid behind the skirt tales of the Player's Union, allowing them to be the bad guy they already are in many eyes, and making Alex look wide-eyed and innocent, towing the union line.

The whole thing makes me tired, especially after last night's last-minute P-1 Wild-Ass Circus appearance to talk about the issue. The deal will still get done -- there's far too much at stake for the Rangers as well as the Red Sox. I just wonder what the 2004 season will look like, and any preliminary visions might drive me to drink. More.

Meanwhile, as friends and relatives are being informed that they're being sued for file-sharing, judges are now saying the RIAA can no longer force ISPs to rat out offenders. This comes the same week Kazaa rolls out a ballsy ad campaign aimed at the record labels to legitimize file sharing, and chage the public image of Kazaa from a pirate ship to a music industry boon.

Finally, the ball that Steve Bartman deflected from Moises Alou's glove? The one that another Cubs fan put up for auction? It was purchased last night for $106,000 by Harry Caray's Restaurant in Chicago... and they plan to destroy the ball. The marketing director for the restaurant (which makes some of the most amazing steaks you will ever eat) said they'll destroy the ball on February 26, the day Harry passed away. Cubs fans will get to suggest the method of elimination. Genius.

NewSpeak

The Daily Misleader points to efforts by the Bush administration to remove statements made by admin officials that now contradict the truth. The cover-ups in staff gaffes include the money it would take to keep Iraq "free," and whether combat had, in fact, ended in Iraq.

Orwell was just 18 years too early.

Hostage Negotiations

Leave it to ESPN.com's Jim Caple to finally reveal what happened in the late-night Alex-for-Manny negotiations Tuesday.

Gimme The Prize

Bud Selig is trying to railroad the Alex-for-Manny trade past the Player's Union blockade. Of course Selig wants Alex in Boston -- the game's most dysfunctional rivalry deserves the game's best player.

Scott Aukerman's mini review of the White Stripes might be the single best blurb ever written:

WHITE STRIPES (The Greek Theatre): After watching this show, I was a bit confused! The two of them are at such different musical levels, they sometimes seem like they're in two separate groups. For instance, the girl seems like she's doing perfectly fine drumming in her Half-Retarded Make-Believe Band. And then he has to spoil it all by playing loud, proficient rock and roll over it! P+U=White Stripes!

Seems there's a contest brokered by a St. Louis braintrust which will award a $20 million prize to the first group that builds a spacecraft that travels 100 Km up carrying three people, returns safely, and repeats the task two weeks later. One of the "contestants," a plucky little blue-and-white number called SpaceShipOne, broke the sound barrier in its first powered in-atmosphere test yesterday. Paul Allen is the moneybag behind SSO, and couldn't be prouder.

The North American midnight screening of 'Return of the King' snagged a whopping $8 million in ticket sales. The previous midnight rambler, 'The Matrix Reloaded,' copped $5 million domestically.

Eat It, Norma Rae!

The MLB Players Union, one of the strongest labor organizations in the world, has thrown a monkey wrench into the Rodriguez-Ramirez trade. Apparently, when Alex decided he wanted to restructure his contract to better suit the trade and the Red Sox's payroll, Gene Orza said, "Look, pal, if you want more money, we'll support that, but there's no way in hell we're letting you take less cash."

How utterly asinine.

'Stupid, Fat Hobbitses!'

As I'd done for the previous two installments, I went to the first available screening of 'Return of the King' last night. Simply a phenomenal movie. The film's penultimate battle sequence at Minas Tirith will overload your senses, and Elijah Wood and Sean Astin's anguish as they peck their way up Mount Doom is palpable. Yes, yes, there are plenty of things Peter Jackson changed from the novels to the screen version. That's his job -- not only to stay as true to the narrative as possible, but to also make a compelling product for the people who have never, or will never read the books.

I've had to go to the mall a couple of times since Thanksgiving -- under duress, but I manage. Each time, I make it a point to walk by the mall's Santa Claus, to see how the person's doing. Jolly? Real beard? Whining, urinating child? All are things I look for, especially in the wake of seeing 'Bad Santa.' So, when I read this story in the Rocky Mountain News about a group of merry misfits who dress up as Santa and raid museums, malls and strip bars, I had to wonder how I could get involved. Anyone hear of a similar outing in the Dallas area?

My role model and inspiration, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, is recovering from a broken leg he sustained in Hawaii. He was there to cover a marathon, but slipped in his bathroom the morning before the event. Oh, how the Gonzo have fallen. Then again, his 30-year-old assistant-turned-wife is nursing him back to health. Gods, how I love that man.

Can anyone tell me why I want this little gizmodicdoodad so badly for Christmas?

It is now 1306 on the East Coast, and Alex Rodriguez is still a Ranger.

Place Your Bets

The question is: when will ESPN.com post the story that Alex Rodriguez has been traded to the Boston Red Sox? The person who gets the closest will get something groovy from the DevinAndMarty.com prize vault. Leave your guess below in the Comments area.

For the record, my guess is Wednesday, 17 December, 11:26 am EST.