So, at the party Ali & Nate threw this weekend, Nate calls me aside. What he said to me has rattled around in my head ever since. I'm almost afraid to let it settle in.
He says, "Devin, a lot of people have been telling you that you're a great person. Your problem is that you've been running so hard, and you don't slow down to listen to them."
I don't know how to take this, honestly. I'm not a humble person by the pure definition of the word -- far from it, as most will tell you. However, I guess it was hammered into my head by several sources that Pride is a killer. Get too full of yourself, and there's no room for anything else.
Add to that the fact that, deep down inside, I know that I'm a moron. A lot of useless knowledge floating about in your noggin doesn't make you smart. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, hurt a lot of people I care about, and made more than my share of enemies from mistakes that I could have avoided.
I've lied. About a lot of things. Things I shouldn't have. To people I shouldn't have. If I had one thing to eradicate from my makeup, it would be the ability to lie.
Yet, past all of this, there's something inside of me that knows I'm going to do something phenomenal. Something no one has ever seen before. Something that my name will be attached to, like Ted Williams' .400 season, or Bob Geldof's benefit concert. Something... wonderful.
On one of the last episodes of ABC's "Philly," Abe Froman (one of the lead lawyer characters) successfully defends a lovely Wiccan against a fraud charge. He visits her later, when he's having doubts about himself. She writes down a sentence on a business card, and hands it to him. "Say this sentence three times to yourself, each time you doubt yourself." The sentence was, "I am Abe Froman."
I don't need to be stronger, sexier, or more capable than anyone else. I don't need to hold myself to any standard other than my own. All I have to do is be the person I am. The person who I want to be.
I am Devin Pike.
I am Devin Pike.
I am Devin Pike.
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