SwampLog: Blogathon 2005

the long and winding road

just hi. i'm guessing hardly anyone reading this will actually remember me, but my name is jessica - i used to have the sites notporn.org (like 7-8 years ago) and pika-grrl.net (like 4-5) and beautiful-geek.net (like 2-3) and now i have evilprincess.net. i did the 'thon for the first three years, and between the last one and this one i've let my blog slip off into vast nothingness.

but anyway. you get to hear about my fantasticly wonderful weekend. aren't you thrilled? hope you need a good laugh.

i semi live with my boyfriend - which for the most part is a coaster. he's unpredictable and petty, which can lead to some interesting conversations. i try and hold myself above being petty because i think it's stupid. if you have a problem, say it. don't be cheap. don't be spiteful. don't say things you know for a fact have no ground or empty threats. but every now and then, something else has set me wrong before he starts with me and i cannot resist temptation - and oh god, does he HATE to be proven wrong.

last night, i saw my boyfriend get really upset and show any type of adult behavior in being able to just say what's on his mind, except none of it was directed at me. he and his brother were getting into a fight that's been about - eh, two months in the making. my boyfriend's been annoyed by something for a while and after about two months of him bitching to me about it, i told him unless he said not to, i was going to say something 'cause i was tired of hearing it.

that's a trait some of my friends have a problem with. my honesty. but they can fuck off. don't do things you're not proud of and you won't have to lie now will you.

anyway.

he asked me to leave for a while because he was border line and wanted some time alone, which was fine with me. i didn't really know what to do with him and i could tell he needed it. i wasn't planning on going back when i left, but an hour later - and drunk unknown to me - he told me to come back. we watched some tv and *cough* went to bed kinda early as he was getting up to go fishing this morning and i was exhausted from work and looking forward to sleeping in.

he leaves the computer signed online to AOL when he leaves, preventing anyone else from logging onto it, which is kinda fuckin' annoyin' if you ask me. his computer also has modem and rebooting issues and kicks him off always.

he got up. went fishin'. left aol on. i woke up. vegged in bed until i saw him get booted off. signed on. he came back.

let the fighting begin.

"did you kick me off" no "you're lying" no im not "yes you are i know you are" no i'm not. stupid bicker, petty remark, low blow, cheap stab, etc. all this going on 'bout 9am, barely even awake, as i'm packing everything i own out of his house because his way of ending the yes you are no i'm not phase was to say "get the fuck out of my bed and out of my house". i leave, call someone i consider one of my best friends (simply for the fact that tho he may not be around much, when i NEED him he is THERE), go to his house and hang out for the day with him at his job.

i didn't talk to chris (my boyfriend) for hours. i was too upset. i didn't want to even deal with it. but before i left there i said a few things i'd been wanting to say for a while, but i'm the type of person who'd usually rather get over something than argue about it, then when i finally get mad enough to say something, let everything that's been on my mind spill out. finally, out of boredom, i read a few of them and started talking to him.

i don't know why. i kinda wish i hadn't. i don't know what i'm going to do. i don't know what i want to do. i live an odd kinda life style. most of my friends are dj's, for a good while i was well known in "the club scene", and yes. i party like a rockstar. chris is not involved in this part of my life. i like this. that way when he is an ass to me, i have something that's completly and totally mine. he cannot stand most of my friends because of the things we choose to do when we go out. he has problems trusting me when i say i'm not "doing anything" because some of my friends have a good amount of whatever i want only a phone call a way.

i have many logical reasons i'm with him. he keeps me out of trouble, for one thing. and on a schedule. and i need that right now. if given the chance, i'll meander off with my friends for the night until 2am and i can't afford to do that with my job as far away as it is. we get along fairly well when he's not playing on his mood swings. we're also "good" together, if ya know what i mean (heh). and he lets me beat up on him a lil bit from time to time when i'm bored. we like to cook together. read.

i have no emotional reasons i'm with him. i miss him now. it's the first time we've spend a night apart in months. i told him i was going to stay out tonight to clear my head.

how did i go from being very content that i was done with him to missing him and looking forward to seeing him tomorrow? why did i let myself get back into this at all? i should have left him alone when i told him to piss off the first time. i wound up telling him a LOT of shit i thought and felt in reguards to how he treats me and how he acts and his attitude in general and how much i think it sucks lately and that he has to change.

said he would try.

but do i really believe him? can i believe him? i'm not sure if i have the heart to.

what do you think? email me and tell me.

Easter Egg

I believe in love at first sight. Some call it chemistry. I like to think of it as magic. It may not happen at first sight, but there is a moment where you cross the threshold from mere conversation to "Holy
crap! This person is absolutely amazing!"

It's similar to feeling like you've been hit over the head with a breakaway chair (I would imagine.
I've never been hit with one.). I think how you react to that moment can change your life. Do you pursue the feeling or do you dismiss it?

Sometimes the feeling goes both ways and sometimes it's "close but just not quite a bull's eye." I think the worst thing that can happen if you try is that even if it doesn't work out, you have the experience and all the growing that happens when someone really cool shares a part of their life with you.

That's worth risking a little heartache, isn't it?

=M=

It's A Mixed-Up Jumbled-Up Shook-Up World

(By way of introduction I mention to you now that three years ago I was a smouldering young thing with nothing more on my mind but makin' it and Courvoisier but today's post will serve well to show you that I have, quite unfortunately:  Grown Up.)

Today I did three things that I have never done before:

1)  Made my own dog food

2)  Watched an entire foreign film without falling asleep

3)  Drank champagne with breakfast.

The first thing is easy to explain--our dachshund suffered a herniated disc in May that required an MRI and some fairly invasive spinal surgery.  His recovery seemed to be going great until last week, when he started showing weakness in his hind legs again.  Our regular vet said we had two options:  Take him back to the neurosurgeon, who might recommend another $5000 MRI/surgery combo; or we could see the holistic vet at $140 a pop. 

We went to the holistic vet.  Who offered nothing less than DOGGIE ACUPUNCTURE.  I am pleased that human existence has progressed to this point, where we want for nothing and consume everything but oh my god I feel like such an unbelievable yuppie, having taken my dog to an ACUPUNCTURIST. 

Short version of the story is that she recommended several types of supplements combined with homemade dog food (1 oz. starch, 2 oz. veggies, 3 oz. protein) so that's what I did today.  I was a little concerned--it looked so BLAND but what was I going to do?  I don't think Scooter (the dachshund in question) would appreciate it if I kicked it up a notch; nor would I much appreciate it if he yakked in the bed again.  It turns out that WHOA he ate like we'd been starving him for weeks--looks like the recipe was a success!

...

Number two is easy to explain--If you've seen The Motorcycle Diaries, you'll know what I'm talking about.  Who could resist two hours of Gael Garcia Bernal?  NOT ME.  Honestly, that man is hot enough to put on my toast and eat for breakfast. 

...Which brings us to my third point:  Drinking with breakfast.  Normally I spend Saturday morning knitting with my ladiez at a terrific coffee shop a few minutes from home, but today I was required to stay home and wait for the Orkin Man (bees in the attic.  don't ask.) so what better solution than to have the ladiez come HERE for knitting?  No better solution, I assure you.  I made a killer frittata (cave-aged gruyere, crumbled english bangers, bell peppers & shallots) and the world's worst bellinis.  Turns out there's a reason why bellinis are made with peaches and not raspberries! 

So there you go, three amazing things I've never done before--I heartily recommend every one of them to you.

One Mystery Solved

Well, we found Jess.  She missed her Guest Post slot because of some domestic strife.  She asked me to relay the following bit:

Jessica's tip for the day: do not let your anger get the best of you and expect people to speak to you after. Think before you act.

Good advice for any situation.  She says she'll try to hop on and talk about it later.

Shattering Your Illusions

Hello everybody, Linds here, that Canadian Chick that Devin was mentioning some 12 odd hours ago. I'm escaping from my turf over at the Glamazon Shoe Diaries to do a scheduled guest post for Mister Pike, which, I'm thinking couldn't be better timing for him, while he sorts out some minor technical difficulties. Dev's over at GSD, writing his own post, so lets get this party, started.

Now, it's come to my attention that you Yanks have some funky ideas about Canada, and I'd like to dispel some myths, some urban legends about Canada.

1.) Do you guys live in igloos?

Uhm. No. Not unless my igloo has stucco siding. Right now it's about 30 degrees celcius, which is comparable to about 86 degrees fahrenheit. It's smokin' hot here. And I'm stuck in the dungeon, instead of roasting in the glorious sunshine.

2.) Do we have Dogsleds to travel around the place?

No again. Not unless my galpal has a 250 dog-powered Ford Escort Z2X. 

3.) Mike G asked me, once, rather tongue in cheek, the saucy tit, if we ate blubber sandwiches for Lunch. I'm sure SOME do, but y'know, it's not like we go out and kill whales to get grub. We have supermarkets, we have Safeway, fer gawd's sakes, and I should know, I was an employee there for almost five years.

4.) Do you guys wear those cute little "Mount Me" hats?

Sweetheart, No. I believe what your talking about is the "Mountie" or the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. the general public doesn't wear those. I was told once by a friend from Seattle, that the style of clothing we wear is fairly european in style, but not liederhosen etc. The typical canadian is usually seen sporting a pair of jeans, sneakers, a hooded sweater, and a smile.

I've run out of time, but I'm sure Devin would appreciate another stopover from this sassy Canadian broad. (You guys know that this is all tongue in cheek, yes?)

At any rate Au Revoir from the Great White North!

3X Last Rites...

It looks like Devin doesn't know to leave well enough alone. Mike G. here with another guest post. Given that I have to follow up Girls Gone Wild talk, this is an uphill battle.

So how about a near-death experience?

Well, sort of.

Once upon a time, way way back in sixth grade, I wasn't feeling too good one day. I figured it was a simple stomachache, and decided to soldier on. I actually fought through it for at least two days. Looking back, I'm still at a loss as to why, since pain and I have never been close. On the afternoon of the second day, it was getting to be too much. It was decided that my parents should be called and according to my mom, I was a very sickly pale of yellow. Not this bad, but maybe close.

So it was off to the doctor. The normal examinations were done, and the order was handed down to go to another doctor. This new doctor did pretty much the same thing and decided that my appendix [the do-not-remove mattress tag of the human body] had to go. So in less than two hours, I had gone from classroom to office to office to hospital bed. Then I'm in an operating room being told to count backward...

I woke up surrounded by my parents and other relatives, then quickly passed out again. A few hours later, I had a visitor. Some quick background first:

I'm Catholic born and raised[with minimal scarring]. My folks sent me to a private Episcoplalian School from K-6th grade. On my first day in Junior High, I almost asked where the chapel was.

So my visitor was the reverend from my school. We spoke for a while and he said a prayer for me, which was nice. About an hour later, the priest from my church stops by for pretty much the same thing. I was okay with this at first. Besides, it's a good idea to cover all the bases.

After lunch I had a third guest. A close family friend asked their minister form the Baptist Church to say hello. I was very polite , but underneath I'm starting to sweat bullets. After he left, I remember asking my parents if there was something that they weren't telling me.

Believe me, this story isn't meant to overshadow Devin's tale of courage. I'm in awe that he continues to do a lot of what he does. I just thought this might make someone chuckle.

Courage,

Mike G.

Everything Old...

Hi Folks,

Mike G. here, fufilling the role of the juggler while the clowns cart off the broken bodies of the trapeze artists.

I usually ply my trade over at Churn, but Devin asked me to help out during his quest to kick cancer's ass. Personally, I think he just wants some time to convince a few struggling actresses that he's a producer and shoot some 'test footage', but that's neither here nor there.

So here's some knowledge you can share with your local nerd. It may come in handy one of these days.

Remember Star Wars Episode III? One of the elements that managed to be cool and retarded at the same time was the droid general Grievous. Bad-Ass killer Robot? Yes please. Bad-Ass killer Robot with asthma? Uhhh...

But one of the elements that made him more palatable were his bodygaurds, known as IG-100 MagnaGuards. Designed by Grievous himself, they were fierce warriors. Instead of being programmed, Grievous chose to train them, ensuring that they would learn the way he wanted them to. He also refused to maintain their outer cortosis shells, which made them look battle hardened and more imposing.

And now the kicker.

If you recall the famous bounty hunter scene in Empire, you'll notice a particular droid known as IG-88. Design elements of the MagnaGaurd and the Lancer droid [seen in the Clone Wars cartoon] went into the 88's creation.

And now you know.

Courage,

Mike G.